Dear John McCain

Please stop calling me. I am not an undecided voter, and even if I were, I would not be interested in listening to people who've been paid to read a script. (And I know they're paid, because the one who called yesterday told me so, apologetically, when I interrupted to ask why the Republicans were calling me. She also told me she's actually a Democrat and is doing this job because it's the first job she's been able to find in a year that at least had her working five days a week.)

Maybe someone did a study that showed that voters like personal outreach. And I do like personal outreach when it's the real thing. A couple of years ago my district had an open seat in the state legislature, and Patricia Torres-Ray knocked on my door when Ed and I were preparing food and cleaning the house to get ready for a party. We invited her in and she stood in our kitchen to tell us about herself and her goals while we peeled carrots and chopped onions. She's our State Senator now, and we both supported her in part because of that afternoon. I don't expect you to knock on my door, John -- I mean, I'm not an Iowan or New Hampshirite, I don't expect that kind of contact. But having a paid phone banker call people to read them a script over the phone is not personal contact: it's the political equivalent of those calls that say, "Your offer for lower interest rates is about to expire!" (Well, OK. I suppose it would only really be the equivalent of that if it were recorded. Let's say it's the political equivalent of someone calling me up to sell me vinyl siding.)

I have to wonder, wouldn't it be more cost-effective, in terms of dollars per ear, to buy radio ads? At least the radio ad is guaranteed not to break off midway through and admit to being an Obama supporter.

P.S. If you had Stephen Colbert call me, him I might listen to.